Thursday, September 30, 2010

How To Get More Time

We are up to our nostrils in busyness. I am scheming to get more time to either do stuff or to not do stuff. I think this will work:

1 Stop sleeping.

2 Stop eating. Eating wastes time, especially eating food that has no curry in it.

3 Surgically alter right index finger into a needle, so that I can sew on the go, wherever I am, even while walking. Surgically alter left hand into a gluegun.

4 Buy this clock.

5 Stop blogging.

6 Stop emailing.

7 Live on an aeroplane that keeps flying Westwards (or is it Eastwards?) so that I am always several hours ahead.

8 Boycott daylight savings.

9 Stop cleaning the house, and any chore that has similarly low returns and high repetition factor.

10 Stop cooking. Bulk-buy everyone those little packet meals that astronauts eat on spaceships. Surely Costco has those? Costco has everything.

11 Speaking of Costco, stop doing the grocery rounds. Plant a garden and have everyone harvest whatever they like to go with their Astronaut Snack Packs. Revolutionize the family diet to include novel but healthy options like Green Pea Juice and Tomato Torte with Whipped Jalepeno Frosting.

12 Stop making lists.

Explanation: we are having a garage sale this weekend. It has taken over our universe. We have so much baby stuff in storage that it is ridiculous. And - to add insult to injury - I unearthed old books. I used to read! Wow.

P.S. I made three plaid things for Emily since that denim skirt. I did it by ordering in pizza (no time to procure Astronaut Snack Packs). See, my list works.


  1. Buy THAT clock ;) Rest is waisting time end energy ;)

  2. Costco DOES sell astronaut food. It's in their 72-hour kits. And if that doesn't tell you I'm a Costco addict, my shopping lists are plotted according to the layout of the store!

    I hope your garage sale goes well!

  3. Good luck on the garage sale! Your reduction of stuff will feel great once it's all over.

    I've given up sleep, cooking and housecleaning, but it's hardly made a dent...

  4. Too funny! I shall start practicing these immediately!

    I especially love #'s 1, 2, & 9. And of course if you do #2, you won't need #'s 10 & 11. ;)

  5. I love that clock and totally need to get one for my mom! Astronaut food doesn't sound too bad. Don't forget to cut out laundry too. This means no washing, no folding, and no putting away which will save lots of time.

  6. I must read. How do you not read??!

    I like shopping at garage sales, but I vowed never to do one again. I hope yours gets high returns for all that work!

    As always, you just crack me up.

  7. Love that list! I still find it amazing how you do what you do with the kids.

  8. You've got a great list! I think I'm a living testament to going without sleep, lol!


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