Monday, October 24, 2011

What White Glove Delivery Really Means

We bought a treadmill this weekend. The husband and I are tired of being unexercised six months of the year when it's frigid here in Minnesota. We don't have a gym membership, for several reasons, the main one being there isn't one here with a decent pool. Our local YMCA, for instance, has a pool with two lanes  available for open swims. Two! Neanderthal. Anyway, so we bought a treadmill, and it came in a big cardboard box (which is really the point of this post, as you might have guessed).

This cardboard box has a triple layer of flutes (translated = superior). This made me very happy. 

Now, while doing our comparison research, we were given one of these brochures full of information about the service plans offered by one company to help us more fully enjoy our new fitness machine.

Have you heard of the White Glove standard of service? According to the promises in the brochure, this is what it means to (apparently) regular people who value clean homes because, ostensibly, they already have clean homes (sorry, we cannot be friends because have you seen my home? It is not like yours.):

O gullible ones! Tsk. Here is what it really means to the enlightened:

So thank you, White Glove People, but no, I think I will decline your service today.

We haven't actually assembled the treadmill, incidentally, because it was found to have a defective part. The husband came into the house after unpacking it and said there was oil leaking all over the cardboard box from a crack in the console.

"Well," I said, "It will obviously have to be returned because the box is useless with oil all over it."

We called the company, and they said they would send a replacement part. They didn't offer to send a replacement cardboard box. Typical. Unenlightened service corporations. 

P.S. Yes, I am working on completing those costumes. Tuesday, I think, they'll be finished. The question is, should I also make the shoes?


  1. Tell the truth now... you really bought it FOR the cardboard, didn't you? ;)

    Too bad about the leak and ruined cardboard. At least it didn't get on your carpet!

    Now I suppose we're gonna have to crack the whip and hold you accountable to exercise, too, aren't we? Gladly!! ;)

    Hey, I just finished my apron about 5 minutes ago! Pics tomorrow. My little model is already here, but she's in bed. :)

  2. With no offer to replace the box, I would not call that white glove. One consolation is that the replacement part MAY come in a box.

  3. Good to see you have your priorities on crafting!

  4. haha - I love your perspective!

    I have never enjoyed gyms overmuch, but I do love to swim. But the YWCA one block from our house CLOSED their poool!!!! sighhhhh So it's back to biking and exercise DVDs and walking kids to school.

  5. We got a treadmill last year, and I think the cardboard gets about the same amount of use as the treadmill. It's not quite up to Li-er standard, but it's a nice big playhouse that gets the job done daily. I was so excited to see that box arrive!


  6. My question is, how do you prevent the children from completely squashing your cardboard creations? Once my kids figured out how fun is was to take a flying leap onto a box, using them for playhouses was never to be.

  7. This made me laugh! I find it hard to part with my trashy-treasure's slowly overtaking our spare bedroom much to my hubby's horror!

    Love the shop by the way...gonna give it a blast!

  8. I tried -- and TRIED -- to help my husband understand your frustration with the customer service agents who didn't replace your damaged cardboard... He didn't get it.

    At least, not until I said, "Look, LiEr has a thing about corrugated cardboard, BIG PIECES if possible, just like I have a thing about cereal box cardboard..."

    Well, THAT he got! LOL. I make almost all of my smallish patterns out of recycled cereals boxes. Also prototypes...

    But this week (if I can find the pictures I'll send them to you) in honor of you, Halloween and my younger DD, I made FAIRY WINGS out of real, honest-to-God corrugated.

    We were in fine shape, stock-wise, until recylcing came this morning. If you lived nearer, I'd have saved the pile for you: a new flat screen TV AND a new lid for the 65" diameter hot tub arrived IN THE SAME WEEK! We were rolling in the stuff. Now, not so much!


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