Thursday, September 20, 2012

I Had A Bad Day Two Months Ago


You know how sometimes you read blogs and the blogger confesses that she was having a bad day? And everyone, even the folks who usually only lurk, suddenly leaves like 100 comments saying the equivalent of, "Oh I'm so glad you wrote this. I love that you're wretched and common like the rest of fallible humanity because now I can stop believing you are superhuman and stop hating you for it! I love you!"

You know what strikes me about such posts? That they have photos. I'm sitting there thinking, "How does she have a bad day and still have the wherewithal to take photos, edit them to look moody and artistic and post them and blog about her day while using the word "Today" in her opening line? She's still superhuman. And I'm still a wretched worm that writhes about on my filthy kitchen floor."

When I have bad days, it takes me several days after to recover from and catch up with the mortifying mess that is their aftermath. On The Bad Day itself, I have a headache. I can't even sew (and that's saying something). I hate cardboard. Previously-adored music is like nails on a chalkboard. I want my children to stop asking me stuff and leave me alone. I don't want to get snacks for anyone. I don't want to cook for anyone. And over everything is the sense that I'd gotten absolutely nothing done since getting out of bed that morning. It isn't migraines - it's just a bad day. I often want to blog about it because I feel so deliciously crabby that it's sure to be a funny post. But I can never bring myself to because, well, it's a Bad Day.

Two months ago, I had such a Bad Day. It was one of those Particularly Bad days in which I was sliding down the side of the kitchen counter to squat on the kitchen floor with my hands over my ears. Nothing especially bad happened - and I don't even remember what was so bad about the day, except that my house was full of children (actually just three) and they were saying they were bored for the hundredth time and it was the peak of summer and there were still weeks more before they would return to school and be out of my hair, and I couldn't think of a single thing to cook for dinner that wasn't cheating, and the house needed to be picked up and probably the breakfast cereal was still on the table even though I was trying to plan for dinner and let's not even talk about the dishwasher or the laundry or the cobwebs or the sad potted plant dying in the window.

I decided then, that I needed super powers. There was no other way to cope. I HAD to make myself a superhero costume. It works for children, right? I mean, they wear a superhero cape and suddenly -Wham! -they're invincible. By that logic, an entire superhero costume would be ten times more powerful.

Listen - the reason I'm only telling you now is because that's how long it takes me to get anything done. Even just telling you about My Bad Day took two months. You have to believe me when I say that I don't just have Bad Days six times a year. I have them (and fractions thereof) quite often. But that Bad Day, the one that inspired my superhero outfit, was that long ago and only coming to light now.

So then I went out and bought Tshirts for my costume. Which sat on the floor of my closet for weeks. La la la la la la la. Then I planned my designs. Want to see some of the contenders?


Here's one:

And here's another:

But they all sounded so..... accomplished and powerful and ambitious and amazing and point-to-prove-ish. Which didn't at all resound with the true essence of My Bad Day Two Months Ago. So I threw them out. And decided on this one which, on some days, is the sad pinnacle of my superheroineness. It's true and honest and (to be fair, especially if you've had Bad Days yourself) downright applaudable, if I may so so myself. Here it is:

Wasn't it President Snow (in the Hunger Games) who told Katniss, 
"Aim high in case you fall short"? 

I beg to differ. I prefer: 
"On some days, just get food. 
Everything else is a bonus."

When I finally finished it and wore it for a test run, I was having a Good Day (it had chocolate in it, and lemon bars) so I was already superhuman and slightly disappointed to find that it had no effect on my already-abundant supremeness. I've decided, therefore, that this cannot be an Everyday Empowerment Tshirt- I mean, that's what stuff like My Favorite Jeans and My Perfect-Fit-Grey-Shirt are for, right? No, this superhero suit is for when everything is lousy and overwhelming and I find a rotting cabbage in the fridge and discover I'd washed all the darks (including the brand new denims) with the whites and and I forgot the kids' well-child appointments again and I'm wading knee-deep in prettyrellas and Barbiephernalia and Legos and polyester dress-up clothes bits and all three kids are sick so I can't pack them in the car at 5:21 pm and drive out to the supermarket to buy emergency ground beef or Tylenol. Yes, this is for those days. And I know you understand because you have them, too.

So....... that's my superpower. What's yours?




P.S. Yes, I know it's pink. Makes it that much more superpowerful, didn't you know?

79 comments:

  1. funny but ohhh so true! thank you for sharing...

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  2. I think that is a spectacular superpower to have! There are some days where that is enough. :) I know we all have days like that.

    My superpower would likely be that I read. When life is getting me stressed to the max, I curl up in my big leather chair with a load of blankets and dive into books. That usually makes me feel much, much better. At the very least I can escape into a fantasy world for a little while and forget what is gettin' me down.

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  3. Love it! I totally want one :)

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  4. I'm just wondering if you're going to mass produce these because I could have used one yesterday :o)

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  5. My daughter has diabetes and I receive calls from the school nurse 2 - 6 times per day asking what to do because of out of whack blood sugar levels. My super power? I answer the phone.

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  6. I love this. You described a bad day so well.

    My youngest child is a fourteen year old female. My superpower is "I say no."

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  7. I want one that says, "I put pants on today."

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    1. Me, too. I have a friend who went through such a stressful time in her life at one point, that she literally had to look down each morning when she left the house to check that she'd put her pants on. So yes, that counts as a superpower.

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    2. reading this from the uk made me laugh out loud, here pants are underwear, it took me a moment to realise that you meant trousers!

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    3. On good especially good days you remember to put on both (in the correct order).

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    4. Laughing out loud over here! Do yoga pants count as pants?

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  8. Well! That actually made me laugh out loud! There are many, many days where cooking dinner is all that I accomplish for my family. And even the act of cooking is interrupted many times by small childrens' wants and needs....

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  9. Now that's what I call a superheroineness T-shirt in all its pinkness.

    Love your post and it definitely made me think of my sporadic bad days. When I am experiencing a bad day I don my favorite red T-shirt that I embellished with fabric glitter, a heart and the letter "S" smack dead in the middle.

    Of course, my bad day will occur as I am heading out for work and I have to settle for a suit for most of the day, but as soon as I get home I don my superpower T-shirt, because of course the day is still long and still a bad day.

    I must make another t-shirt, that will read: I dream... and on the back: what's your superpower?.... lol

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  10. I love it!! Will there be a tutorial?

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  11. I work in a school of engineering at an impressive university that you would recognize if I mentioned the name and there is a story about an impressive woman who applied for a faculty position and toward the end of her resume (or as they say here in impressive universities, curriculum vita) had a category called "Superpowers." They were all things that might be considered ordinary by those (most often men) who don't have to think about them. She's legendary here at this place.

    And when times are tough and we have a Ladies Night Out, we talk about our superpowers. But we don't have t-shirts. The t-shirt is super uber cool!

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  12. LOVE this post.
    LOVE the shirt!

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  13. I could not love this more. You need to sell these, they would go like hot cakes. We all need a superhero outfit sometimes. I think my superpower is either making dinner or surviving my two year old.

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  14. So perfect! On my bad days, I scrape together care for the living creatures (you know, pets and kids and maybe the husband, perhaps in that order). After that, it's naps and Netflix all the way. I totally need to make myself a superhero costume!

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  15. I love the post
    and I love the shirt !
    I`m still smiling :-)

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  16. I love the shirt! I think mine would say "I reheat dinner" (If I'm lucky enough to have leftovers on a bad day).

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  17. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

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  18. That's awesome. Reminds me of the tiny baby days, when just brushing my teeth felt like a huge victory. That's what I need to remember on my bad days -- I brushed my teeth (hopefully).

    I had a Bad Day a couple of months ago too, and I also decided that I needed to transform myself into Supermama. So I paid somebody to make me a cape. You made your own supermama shirt. Therefore, you're still superhuman. :-)

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  19. Ahhh... I love how you write! I'll be chuckling about this post all day... as I try to figure out what my superpower is... if I even have one!

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    1. Ah yes. Yours (and this is just one of many) would be "I match print".

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  20. Great Post! You've certainly got a lot of us thinking!

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  21. I Love it!!! What an awesome idea.

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  22. I Love it!!! What an awesome shirt

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  23. On really bad days, my super power isn't even as exciting as your "I cook dinner". It's more like "I got dressed (even a bra!)" or "I didn't curse (much)".

    I love what you said about the fancy bloggers and their photogenic "bad days".

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  24. I took a shower! (and cleaned house and decorated a surprise birthday cake, and prepped for a craft show and took cookies to school) and made dinner!

    Where is that t-shirt?

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  25. My superhero catch phrase is "Nobody Died Today" or sometimes "Nobody Died and No Day Drinking" (which isn't to say there is day drinking on Nobody Died Today days so much as that No Day Drinking is an accomplishment in and of itself on certain days)

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  26. I haven't blogged in Waaay too long. Just having a bad month. But as youve said, people hav been fed, clothes are clean. (are we shocked Dr called to say bloodwork showed anemia. No wonder I feel like I'm wearing concrete shoes.)

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  27. :) I like it! I need to get a t-shirt just like that one!

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  28. I think that I would have to tone it down a bit to "I fed the kids". Some bad days dinner does not get 'cooked', but that's what frozen stir fry vegetables and tortillas are for...

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  29. That is an impressive super power. I don't cook dinner on bad days. Either husband cooks dinner or he orders dinner. My daughter is just as happy with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as she is with a steak and my son doesn't eat food yet so I don't feel compelled to make dinner on those types of days. :)

    I think my super power would be that I can tickle my kids until they are rolling with giggles. There is something about little giggles that always makes me smile, no matter how bad/hard/emotional/frustrating the days has been. Even my four month old can get into giggle fits which is so stinking cute that it really lifts my spirit.

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  30. Mine would have to be "I take showers" because these days that's about all I do, unless you count turning on the microwave. Working on that....

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  31. This morning while I was rushing around trying to set up preschool I was running the highchair downstairs to confine Ruth in during the lessons...as I was speeding through the doorway I was still holding the high chair above my head...which hit the door jam which sent my face into the baby footrest which left a mark on my fore head...I didn't take a photo...but I didn't beat the crap out of the high chair or the door jam which was pretty super...
    liZ

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  32. FANTASTIC. You're my favourite blogger.

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  33. Love it! I think I need one for every day of the week. And chocolate as well. :)

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  34. I love it. Totally going to copy it.

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  35. Haha, I LOVE this shirt. I need an identical one, because often it's the only thing I get done all day.
    And my goodness, you described my bad days perfectly. =)

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  36. I actually made myself a shiny purple cape with a gold, sparkly "WM" on the back - it stands for Wonder Mom. I may not be a supermom, but I definitely count as a wonder mom. As in, people look at me and think, "I wonder if she's okay in the head..." :)

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  37. When i talk about how I make my allergic kids' class cupcakes for every occasion simply because it's easier |(they don't know that the cupcakes don't have eggs and dairy, I know my kid won't keel over), knit and sew thier clothes, cook dinner and sometimes blog, people ask me if there's anything I can't do. On a bad day it's more like none of the above -- my superpower is that I have control of the remote. :D

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  38. Regretfully, I suspect pink nullifies the superpower:-(

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    1. Nuhuh, it amplifies it.

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  39. lol!
    Mine would be "I fed the kids" or "The kids are still alive" :) Or "Still breathing, what's your super power?"
    I love the engineer princesses tee too.

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  40. I rarely laugh out loud reading blogs, but you had me rolling! Thanks for brightening up my "bad day." I like the suggestions of "I got dressed" or "I showered today" as other supermom sayings!

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  41. Is it 100 comments yet? :D

    Bright pink! Best wanna-feel-superhero colour ever!

    At the risk of sounding plebian, this post has indeed made me feel less bad about having bad days. Especially since I do think you're a super-mom ALL the time. That's not to say I'm happy that you have bad days. Wish I could be there to cook that dinner for you and the kids on THOSE days, or take them off your hands for a few hours so you can go swimming.

    You make me laugh, L. THAT's a super-power.

    As for my own super power? I WAKE UP EARLY.

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    1. And that, J, is a real superpower. I don't have that one. All those years as a teacher, I wondered if anything I said in class before 10 am was true and helpful for exams or not. Also, you can add to your superpower list, "I keep LiEr sane". Love ya!

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  42. Brilliant! And THIS is exactly why I keep coming back to read your blog. You do reality with style and a fabulous sense of humour.

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  43. Awesome. Just awesome. And really you should make the engineer princesses t-shirt.

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  44. I remembered to pick up the kids from school.

    Lisa

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  45. Love this post! Thanks for sharing it.
    My superpower would be "I find lost toys."

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  46. I cannot stop laughing! Aren't we all Supermoms? I wear my costume underneath all the time and carry chocolate in my bag. No not for my daughter. For the times when I am on my way to pick up my daughter and my body reminds me that I forgot to have lunch...and my brain reminds me that I did not clean the kitchen after breakfast this morning and that there are 2 children coming in 30 minutes to play and... And... I am a supermom- ofcourse!

    Still laughing...

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  47. "Oh I'm so glad you wrote this. I love that you're wretched and common like the rest of fallible humanity because now I can stop believing you are superhuman and stop hating you for it! I love you!"

    I treat my blog as a way to get all the crap out of my head - good, bad, & sometimes, ugly. However, I still censor my bad days because the blog - in all it's superhuman happiness - is still a positive place for me to go.

    I believe when you have kids, you have to suck it up and don your superhuman powers more often as they look up to you to do so. Once the kids leave the nest, the superhuman powers rest a bit more.

    But I do get more comments when I touch upon the bad days.
    Too bad you'd look like a dork in public with a cape.

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  48. Can my super power be that I got out of bed this morning? Great post! Thanks for letting us in on your dirty little secret -- you're just like the rest of us!

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  49. Another of your superpowers is teaching people. I cannot begin to tell you how much I've learned from your example and terrific posts. Seriously. THANK YOU. ♥

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  50. My superpower i "i can find my husband's phone or walllet, and i know what day it is"

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  51. It is past eight o'clock on Friday night and this is the first chuckle I have had all day. You do indeed have super powers!

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  52. I know where everything is.
    Even when I get almost no sleep, everyone gets fed all of their meals..
    I am good at taking others' perspectives.

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  53. i love everything--EVERYTHING--about this post. somedays my superpower is just NOT screaming at my children all day. i can't even always claim dinner...because some days it's so bad the hubs has to cook when he comes home.
    some days, i just AM.

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  54. I love, love, love your shirt. Sometimes the best things don't need all the embellishment that we put into them. I bet you get applauded every time you where that to the supermarket! And now I want one...

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  55. I love, love, love your shirt. Sometimes the best things don't need all the embellishment that we put into them. I bet you get applauded every time you where that to the supermarket! And now I want one...

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  56. I love this! I need it on a badge to be worn at a moment's notice. Or an apron, which might sound like a crazy random idea, but my son sometimes wears his cape backwards and it looks just like a batman apron so capes and aprons are linked in my mind.

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  57. On Very Bad Days I order take away!
    I think you are a True Super Hero to actually COOK!!

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  58. There's a point to this story, promise!

    I don't have children (yet) so I guess I don't have half the excuse you guys have. But today is... a Bad Day. It started with a headache of "stay at home" variety but staying at home couldn't happen due to deadlines and craziness and projects that won't go away or have gone away and are now back. Other than that I can't actually pinpoint what it is that's making the day exceptionally bad, it just...is.

    My normal solution to days like this also involves a t-shirt, though mine is more a "acknowledge the problem" shirt than a super-power shirt. It says "Oh this the poopiest of days".

    Unfortunately the shirt of shirts is buried under a pile of laundry that's starting to growl at me.

    So as I sat here glaring at my screens, ignoring various avenues of irritation, I thought, let me go through my blog reader and see if ikat has anything new, that normally cheers me up... at which point I came across this post.

    So I just wanted to say thank you for bringing a smile to my face and cheering up my day some.

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    1. You're welcome, Alex! And thank you for YOUR kind words today! I hope you have many, many good days soon to make up for days like today. We all need that!

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  59. My mom was a stay at home mother, and looking back I cannot imagine how she had to juggle three whiny kids on top of everything else she did.
    I don't have any obligations like pets or children, but I have bad days where I can't do anything either! I think everyone has days like that and it's ok to have days like that.
    Glad to see you have a humorous attitude to it though, love the shirts!

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  60. I just stumbled over your lovely blog - I am an instant fan, from Norway. So many nice things you have made :)

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  61. big smile. planning on cooking dinner today---it may be the only thing I do :)

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  62. I am truly glad that you are so honest. That is one of the many things I like about you and your blog! Now, I am totally making this shirt. But, I don't know what my super power can be. I will be pondering this. Thanks for the chuckle.

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