Thursday, March 3, 2016

Things That Inevitably Make Me Laugh Out Loud

Comments and email requests like these (not verbatim, to protect identities):


"I found you on Pinterest. I couldn't find the instructions to make this project on your site. Can you email them to me?"

"I love this dress you made! But your template only comes in one size. Can you grade it to my kid's size (she's 5 years old) and then email it to me?"

"Are you sure the pattern for these (custom-drafted) pants is for a 3-year-old? I made them for my husky 12-month old son and they were tight."

"Can you email me the full-size templates and tutorial for the (ginormous) cardboard (project)?"

"What size is this pattern? I can't get it to print on my computer. Can you email me the correct size?"

"You should consider sharing the full, detailed instructions (with templates) for this project. For free. It's great!"

"Your tutorial is awesome! But it's missing a few instructions. Can you email me the sections on how to sew a dart?"

"How much fabric did you use for this project? I'm used to being told yardage requirements on the backs of pattern packets."

"I like your tutorials but I'm going blind trying to read them on the computer screen. Why don't you publish all your tutorials in a book so I can read them?"


[Wipes eyes]

Thank you for entertaining me during these dreadfully boring winter months. I hope you will forgive me for not gracing you with an actual answer. I have children to feed and clothe, and a life to live, you see. Also note that it isn't that I don't want to or don't have time to "share the instructions" or otherwise hand-hold you. It's more that I cannot fathom how it's perceivable to randomly gift strangers with my work, at their convenience. And how some folks don't sound like they're aware of this.

I would, instead, gently redirect you to the rest of the internet for

  • free, detailed tutorials on how to sew a dart
  • other, free tutorials that come with templates in any graded size from Preemie to Plus, and Maternity-Adaptation
  • other fun crafts on Pinterest, which come with free instructions and full-color photos
  • instructions on how to print out a webpage on paper for easier reading


Although - and the possibility had actually crossed my mind - you could be a spam bot. That has an actual email address, not a google+plus webpage. If so, forgive me also - I'd mistakenly thought you were human.



27 comments:

  1. I love this! There are all kinds out there in the interwebs. Spambots and humans alike.

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  2. I think I resisted sharing tutorials on my blog for just this reason. You are incredibly generous with your sewing 'engineering' and cardboard creativity.
    Not to mention your humor.

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  3. "Laughter is the best medicine." Good thing you can laugh at these requests instead of letting them drive you nuts. ;)

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  4. Well, instead, can I say that all your stuff I see is so sewn in so deliciously tidy a manner that I get awestruck and inspired to be better myself at the same time? I'm learning so much from you, like that tip a couple posts back about zig-zagging SA to compress it, I'm pathetically grateful. Please keep sharing your geniusness (that is totally a word).

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  5. Go Girl and stand up for your self.

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  6. Oh dear! Some people are very needy - or something ... I wonder what these folks did before the internet? Were they the people who were knocking on my door at silly o'clock to fix their bridesmaid dress the night before the wedding? Probably!

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  7. Sad and funny all at once (the requests that is). Although, maybe that last one sounds like a request that you write a sewing book. Considering some sewing books that have been put out lately, it's not a totally bad idea. Oh wait, there's still the problem of children to care for and a life to live.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous: yes, that's the thing: the children and the life.

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    2. Frankly everytime you run a series im like 'oh please oh please oh please stay up and stay free until i can get the chance to print off the pages!!' What you share on here is so detailed in concept, and step-by-step, and SO clear to me, i want to make my own little reference collections on paper. (You know, in case of powet out or zombie apocalypse. Zipper concepts alone will be a matter of survival im sure!)

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  8. That really happens? Wow! I've been reading your blog for maybe four years or so? I don't think I've ever made any of your stuff but you make me laugh out loud whenever you write:) I'm in absolute awe over your sewing and try desperately to be as neat and Indy and perfect. Most days I'm just glad if I actually finish!! I've learnt lots of random tidbits though that have been super useful:) thanks!!

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  9. If you think that's bad, I worked the fabric counter at Joann's for a couple years and I had people asking me to pick out all of their fabric and notions and cut out their patterns for them because they didn't sew. Like what???

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  10. What amazes me is that you already put out so much incredibly detailed, thorough, useful, beautifully photographed information--it blows me away that you do all of this for free, and yet people email you to ask for more? Unreal.

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  11. Haha!!! SO TRUE! (unfortunately.) Thanks for making me laugh (and cry......because I get these kind of emails too).

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  12. I feel completely spoiled with the large amounts of detailed instructions you put out for free already! I keep returning to your site for the drafting/fitting and knit binding instructions. It has got to the point where I leaf through books at the bookshop and don't buy them because your instructions are better. If you published a book, I'd buy it to support you, but I actually dislike too much handholding and never follow tutorials to the letter. I love your site, thank you for sharing your knowledge!

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  13. So sad that people cn . I am exceptionally grateful for every tutorial, word of wisdom and sharing of experience. I try never to take it for granted. The times I have written to you with questions, you have been incredibly helpful and patient. I'm just so glad you share what you do with us.

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  14. Thank you for sharing. I adore your tutorials, i have learned so mouch with them, please dont allow that silly comments should affect you, because there are thousands of persons like me who learn every day with you.

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  15. Good for you for knowing your boundaries. I wonder if other people put out content and let themselves be bullied into giving more until they just quit. Or monetize. Which is still not going to stop the demand-creep. I agree with the others, your content is remarkable, AND remarkable for being free. But some Hubots choose to miss the point about DIY: it stands for "do it your * self!" There's freedom in that, and responsibility, and Hubots don't like either one.

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  16. Loved this post. So glad there are others out there who savor the humor all around us. It so much reminds me of the years I lived in a small town as a young stay at home mother with 3 small children. Because I did not work outside the home my neighbors would often call me for help: johnny forgot his lunch, can you take it to him? Mama's home alone today, can you pick up some lunch for her, my (dog, cat, horse, calf) got out--can you go put him back in? This was in the 70s--no cell phones--thankfully. I found you through Pinterest. I am particular about signing up for blogs and newsletters. However, your information is helpful, organized, and inspiring. Please hold the line and keep on posting.

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  17. For me sewing is a newfound hobby. The thing that I'm best at is crocheting. And even there, I can sympathize with you... I don't have a blog like you and most of my interactions are face to face with family, friends, and (sometimes even) random people who don't quite get how much energy and time must be invested for design and creation of handmade items.

    "How did you make that? I've never seen a free pattern online for it. Can you email the pattern to me?" or "This you made for my girl is so cute. Can you make me a couple more? If that's too hard, if you email me clear instructions, I can see if I can make it too." or my favorite: "Oh, that's so cute! Can I buy you yarn? I have a friend who's having a baby shower in a week. Can you make me one?"

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  18. Well written! Sometimes I wonder: are there so many "uneducated" people among us?
    Myrto

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  19. Having had the pleasure of receiving a few actual emails from you over the years (in response to my email to you about your excellent "life gets in the way" post of 2011 and in answer to my question about purchasing wooden blanks from you - which have been since lovingly painted by my daughter, given away and used often in our play kitchen) I am grateful that you are able to ignore those type of emails you mention in this post and focus on spending your time more meaningfully! My electrician father is coming this month and I look forward to using your "lights project" posts and others as a jumping off point for things he could do with the grandchildren. As always, your blog for me is a place of creativity, information, inspiration, humor- and what is often lacking in this blogosphere- reality. Thank you!!

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  20. These are great. A food blogger friend got a comment on Pinterest complaining about having to click through to the site to read the instructions. Some other helpful person clicked through for them and cut and pasted the instructions into another comment (back before Pinterest instituted the 500-character comment limit). So that the first person would not have the painstaking task of clicking through themselves. People can be quite incredible.

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  21. The internet is full of stuff. And people. Some are nice, some are not, some are lazy. Some folks go out of their way to crank about what you didn't do for them for free. It is easier to leave a rank smell than to clean it up. Often, that is my job (the cleaning part).

    My sympathies lie with the folks who really need a teenager to help them figure this stuff out. I am not a teenager, but will go to great lengths for them. Butch in Nashville, I'm talking about you!

    This week's great internet fake name: Cornon Thecob.

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  22. You need to use "Let me Google That For You"!

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  23. Oh dear! Does that mean I can't ask you for a (free) pattern to make you, a full size fully functional clone of course, so I don't have to read your (very helpful) tutorials and blog posts?

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  24. I can't wait to make some of your patterns, without being so cheeky!

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  25. It's great that you can laugh at those emails! My goodness. Thank you for sharing so much knowledge and making your wonderful tutorials -- I love them! :)

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