Thursday, October 8, 2009

All I Want For Christmas

Behold - my Christmas Wish List:

  1. Deliciously sharp straight pins which magically become harmlessly blunt after being poked through fabric.
  2. A Clothmobile service in my neighborhood. Like bookmobiles, but stocked with fabric, notions, trims, zippers, and thread. For inclement weather and people who are shut in with small children and don't feel up to packing everyone into the car just to buy a zipper. Also for people with the flu, because of course they will be too sick to cook but not to sick to sew. No one is ever too sick to sew.
  3. One of them Time-Turners from Hogwarts. It is my only hope for finishing anything in time for Christmas.
  4. The Felix Felicis potion from the Hogwarts labs (or the wizarding black market - I'm not picky). For when I need to develop new patterns.
  5. A shape-shifting sewing machine foot that morphs into an applique foot, a piping foot, a bias binding foot, a two-sided zipper foot and a Small Corners Inside Bags With Seven Layers Of Nylon foot. Morphs by reading my mind and pre-empting my needs 7 stitches in advance.
  6. Seam-Ripper Wand. Point at sewing disaster and flick wrist while saying, "Gross and ick -quick unpick!" with instant results and no holes left in fabric.
  7. Chameleon thread that assumes the color of the fabric it is touching. Also changes thickness according to the fabric it is touching. Its chameleon effect can be overridden by my mind when needed e.g. contrasting top-stitching. Auto, yet manual. Killer combination.
  8. Magical camera chip implanted in my forehead that takes photos as I sew, and automatically photo-edits to give perfect lighting and remove background debris. Downloads directly into computer by the power of thought.
  9. Photo-editing software that responds to voice commands. And has Smart Edit feature, which edits similar batches of photos the same way, or suggests (politely) how to improve quality of photos. Has Fast-HDR feature also.
  10. Teleporter. So many uses. No further elaboration needed.


  1. I have googled these and, believe it or not, I can't find them anywhere online to buy. I thought you could find everything on Google and am disappointed to be wrong.

  2. Totally and utterly brilliant list! Can I have one of each too please???

    Lucy x

  3. I'm with ya! Let me know if the clothmobile ever shows up! ha ha

  4. bawhahahahahah! You would make millions! & I'd like one also!

  5. Maybe if you climbed up the Faraway Tree and was very nice to Dame Washalot, you'd be lucky enough that the laying-over land at the top was the Enchanted Sewing Land. You might have to try again another day, though, for Telepathic Photoshop Land.

    Yes, teleportation trumps all other abilities.

  6. I think you need to add a stowable closet. I've been asking for one for years but never get one. It comes rolled up like wrapping paper and has grommets at the top corners. You hang it on any blank wall in your home and it can be opened to find any size closet you might need. Much like the room of requirement, but this one is empty. Always, completely, empty. Fill it, roll it, stow it. Instant decluttering.

  7. If you find either a time turner or a stitch-ripper wand PLEASE share the link. I have a particularly long seam that I have to pull out. :)

    Actually, any of the items on your list would be quite handy. Your taste is impeccable, as always.

  8. Wonderful list! I especially want a Time-Turner and Chameleon thread, but most of all I want a teleporter. I wish for one of those at least once a day.

  9. Mmm. Yes. I want those things too.

  10. Great list, L! Much more creative than the one I was starting in my head last night.

    ...Ooh, that's another one that goes along with the Telepathic Photoediting: Telepathic Blog Post Dictation. With Auto-Funniness-Insertion. (Though your blog already has that one...)

  11. Ah, I'm not alone then.

    Les Petits Anglais: No, no, googling will not find these. For wizadish stuff, try woogling.

    Jeet: I'd take the Faraway Tree in my backyard over any of these anytime. Because Dame Washalot would do my laundry, wouldn't she? For the love of it? Who does that nowadays? That's customer service for you!

    Cricket: Woooo. A Remarkable Closet! Thank you! Yes, I'll have to woogle that and order one this December. For the kids' room first, and then for my stash of fabric. Speaking of stash, I 'll also be needing a SmartMatch program for organizing my fabric so that each time I pull one out of the Remarkable Closet, a screen pops out to immediately show me all other possible coordinating and contrasting fabrics that go with that.

    K: Telepathic Blog Post Dictator sounds awesome! Immediately translates thoughts-while-lying-in-bed-at-midnight into blog posts. I'd better wait for the beta version at least. The alpha version cannot differentiate between nightmares (e.g. wearing pink-and-olive-green outfit while standing in line to shake the President's hand at the White House) with and thoughts - small glitch that blog readers might not appreciate.

  12. Oh, you must have been reading my mind!!!


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